Things I Learned in High School

I'm gonna say this flat out: I pretty much hated high school. It was not for me. It was not catered to my learning style in any way. The only part of high school I enjoyed was choir and musicals. Besides that, high school was a daily chore for 4 years.

But I did learn a lot about myself and the world around me during that time. I've often been told I'm very mature for my age, which is why I'm writing this post, arrogantly thinking that anyone my age or younger would have anything to learn from it. I just think it' s always good to learn from other peoples' actions so you don't have to do the work for yourself. ;)

SO without further ado, here are some things I learned from high school. 

• Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you don't understand something, speak up. Even if no one else seems confused. Odds are, if you have a question, someone else probably has that same question. If the teacher makes you feel bad about asking a question, they are a jerk. 

• Learn to give and accept compliments. Giving sincere a compliment can be a great ice breaker for meeting new people, and will give off a good impression. If you have a good thought about someone, just share it! You'll brighten their day, and what's bad about that? But even more important, ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS PEOPLE GIVE YOU!! Nothing is more annoying than when you give someone a compliment, and they shove it off with a "oh my gosh no I look so bad today" or "no you're so much prettier than me" or things like that. It makes people not want to compliment you anymore. Be humble and gracious by saying a simple thank you.

• Be the helping hand that is needed. Simple acts of kindness can change someone's day and even life. Being a teenager is really hard. The world doesn't give teenagers enough credit. It's said that about 20% of teens suffer from depression before reaching adulthood, and only 30% of them receive treatment. If someone is struggling with something or just having a bad day, reach out. They might not show it, but they will definitely appreciate it. 

• Don't be afraid to talk to anyone. Most of the people that talk in classes aren't actually best friends, just acquaintances. Most people won't bite you if you try to talk to them. You'll get along with loads of different people you never expected to. Don't judge them on their appearance or your prior prejudices against them. Open your mind to people and put yourself out there. They probably won't become your best friend ever, but at least you'll have a friendly face to talk to in class. 

• Just bee yourself. There are other weirdos out there like you just waiting to be your friend. Promise. If you know me personally, you know that I am WEIRD. But I had lots of friends in high school! You do you and other people will do them and it will be great.    

• Don't overload yourself. You really don't HAVE to take PreAP and AP classes to get into college. I only took them freshman year, and I am going to Utah State University on scholarship. I think high school is about experiencing and growing just as much as it is about learning. Challenging yourself to learn more is important, of course, just make sure you leave room to make friends and memories. Let yourself enjoy the time you have in high school (like i didn't.) 

• Don't judge your worth or value on your popularity. I generally think people are awesome... but high schoolers can be JERKS!! Sometimes, people will decide they don't like you for absolutely no reason at all. It doesn't make sense, but it happens. You might not get a lot of likes on Instagram or followers on Twitter, but who the heck cares??? That's really not what life is about. Treat people well and you will see good outcomes. Don't worry about what they think. (I know it's easier said than done, but just give it a try.)

• Try your best to maintain a good relationship with your parents. When you're in high school, you gradually gain more independence. It's easy to forget that your parents know best. Once you get a license and a job, you start to think that you have it all. But you're gonna miss your parents when you leave for college. You're gonna miss their home-cooked meals and loving advice (AND MONEY). Don't argue with them and listen to them. You want to look back on your time with them with fondness. 

I hope my immature, post-high school advice proved insightful to you. Anyways,

I AM SO HAPPY I GRADUATED!!!! 

I'm out of here y'all, PEACE!

Why I added sleeves to my prom dress

*I just want to explain that I am not trying to be preachy or self-righteous by writing this. I am simply explaining.*

As most of you know, I am a devout Mormon. I was raised in a home that teaches self respect and modesty. Prom dresses don't always scream modesty.. sometimes they scream quite the opposite. Most of my friends of different faiths wore strapless or sleeveless dresses with low cut chest lines. I am not trying to chastise them for their dresses, but merely explain why my dress looked a little different. I even have some LDS friends that wore these types of dresses, which further confuses my non-member friends. So here is why I added sleeves to my prom dress. 

The LDS church does not teach women to hide their bodies or cover up out of shame. It is quite the contrary. We are taught that our mortal bodies are the most precious gifts we receive. To show respect to God for our bodies, we wear modest clothing that is not too revealing. We try not to show excessive cleavage, shoulders, or wear short shorts and skirts. One thing I want to emphasize is that women aren't modest simply for men! Some people try to say that we should be modest so we don't tempt men. This argument always kinda ticked me off. In my opinion, it's a man's choice to be looking at a woman inappropriately. Jesus said if one of your eyes is offending you, cut it out. I think it is a good gesture to dress appropriately because some men may struggle with inappropriate thoughts and feelings, but that is not the sole reason to be modest. But I'm going off on a tangent and that's not the point. I am modest because the Lord has asked me to be. I am so grateful for the body I was given and I am proud of how beautiful it is. To show my gratitude, I will dress modestly. It is also a way to show to others that you are a disciple of Christ. Mainly, being modest invites the Spirit to dwell within you. 

Something that has always confused me about a portion of the Mormon culture is the idea that you can select occasions to be modest. Some girls wear modest clothes all the time but wear a very revealing bathing suit to the pool. The most popular occasions to ditch your standards seem to be homecoming and prom. The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet states, "Never lower your standards of dress. Do not use a special occasion as an excuse to be immodest." 

I bought my beautiful dress when I was in England this summer. The dress was absolutely stunning without sleeves (all it had was thin spaghetti straps). I was really worried that we would ruin it by trying to add sleeves. I repeatedly put it on for almost a full year without the sleeves on. It looked beautiful on me and I felt beautiful in it. But it just wasn't me. I didn't even necessarily feel uncomfortable in it (probably because I only ever put it on in the privacy of my own room). But I had been raised to dress modestly, regardless of the occasion. I'm not sure if my parents would've let me wear it without the sleeves, but I didn't even ask. At the end of the day, it was my decision to make. I decided that I wanted to be modest. I wanted my kids to look back at my senior prom pictures and see that I was modest. I wanted to feel like myself and keep the standards close to my heart on a night when not everyone around me would be making good choices. 

It was so simple to add the sleeves on. Actually, you can ask my mom if it was simple... It looked simple to me. It only took a few sittings to get them just right. 

I felt beautiful and confident all night. I never worried that too much was showing or that something was gonna pop out. I had a wonderful night and I will always look back at those pictures with fondness.

(The sleeves are light to match the dress and I realize that they don't show up extremely well in all the pictures.. which would make this entire post pointless... haha.... it's the thought that counts right?)

I just want to say again that I am not writing this to be preachy or self-righteous or to chastise or scold anyone! I just want to encourage my fellow ladies to be modest all the time to show respect to yourselves and to God. I promise that if you are modest, you will be blessed with the confidence and happiness that you all deserve.

Mom.

Elizabeth. Lizzy. Lizzy Bizzy Woman. Crackhead. Ya Big Freak. We call you so many different names and titles. But there is one title I think you should be proudest of: Mom. 

You sacrificed your free time, career and independence. You gave up your young, fit, perfect body for 4 round, pregnant bellies. You gave away your sanity and gained patience. You gave up the glories of the world for a thankless job. So I'm here to say thank you. Thank you for raising me in a loving household that taught me kindness and goodness. Thank you for dragging me to church even when I didn't have a testimony of my own. Thank you for always holding my hand when I got my blood drawn. Thank you for continuing to give me my shots of medication even though I told you, "every time you stab a needle in my arm, it's like you stab my heart." Thank you for cutting the crust off my sandwiches for years. Thank you for getting up every morning to wake me up (multiple times) for seminary. Thank you for sitting in the study, listening to me pound out notes on the piano for hours. Thank you for encouraging me to keep singing even though I didn't get the solo or part I wanted. Thank you to listening to my songwriting when I only knew four chords on the guitar. Thank you for sitting in the passenger seat when I was a fifteen year old who didn't know how to gradually brake. Thank you for letting me come to you every time I cried, so that I never had to cry alone. Thank you for coming up to my room in the middle of the night, when I told you I was too tired and sad to get out of bed, tickling my back until I fell asleep. Thank you for closing your iPad, taking your reading glasses off, and opening your arms every time I walked in with puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Thank you for loving me unconditionally when I didn't know how to love myself. Thank you for showing me that I had worth and value no matter what. Thank you for teaching me that I had a loving Savior and Father in Heaven. Thank you for making our home a heaven on earth. Thank you for giving up your past life to give me life. Thank you for raising 4 souls who love their parents and siblings dearly. No thanks I give you will ever be enough. I love you so much. You are my best friend. Happy Mother's Day. 

College Announcement

I DIDN'T GET IN TO BYU. Did you hear me? Did I say it loud enough? I DIDN'T GET IN TO THE ESTEEMED BYU. But you know what? It's okay. I was so shocked and sooo sad when I recieved my rejection email. (BTW who sends this crap via email??? Can someone say tacky? Anyways...) My whole family was so shocked because I really should've gotten in. I'm not trying to brag, but my test scores and gpa were so dang far above average. I had a long list of extracirriculars and volunteer work, and we all know I wrote some bomb essays. So yeah, we were shocked. I was thrown for a loop because I had planned on BYU for so long. But I discovered that the Lord had something even better in store for me.

I know the uber-Mormons out there reading this will think I am just trying to make myself feel better. To some of you out there, BYU is literally the only school in the world that exists for Mormons. But guess what? There are other schools besides BYU! BYU is not for everyone!! I wish I had realized that before I suffered the heartbreak of rejection. 

Luckily, I had already applied to Utah State University and been admitted (with a very nice scholarship... just sayin BYU). A mere week after I was rejected from BYU, I got a letter inviting me to USU's "A Day". I was not really ready or excited to think about other schools at the time, but my mom took initiative and signed me up to go visit USU on A Day. My spirits were so low before I went up there. I had no clue what I was going to do with my life. I was so sad that I wouldn't be in Provo with my brother, and only half an hour from my sister in SLC. I couldn't believe the Lord didn't have the same plan as me. I thought it was cruel that He wanted to take me from my family like that.

Then I attended A Day. 

Wow. Wowowowow. I LOVED IT. I loved it like I had never loved a college before! I loved it more than I ever loved BYU. I felt at home. In just one day, I seriously felt at home. I fit in so well. Everyone was so friendly and I made friends in that short time. The vibe there was just so different than BYU. I won't try to put down BYU because I know it's a great school! But it was so obvious to me that USU was a better fit for me than BYU. God knew that. He also knew that I was too stubborn to look at other schools besides BYU. I am SO grateful now that I was rejected from BYU because I know Utah State is the place for me. So if you feel the need to tell me you're "sorry I didn't get in", save it! I don't need to hear it. Because I'm not sorry one bit. 

I know some of you won't believe that, because BYU is "The Lord's school" or whatever it is you people believe... but I don't care. I don't care if you don't believe me because I am so dang happy now. I cannot wait to be up at Utah State! I already have a countdown on my phone for the first day of school. (It's 127 days in case you were wondering..) CRAZY!! I was never one of those girls. I always dreaded the first day of school, and now I am counting down! Who the heck am I?! It's a change but it's a glorious one!! I have a renewed testiomony in the Lord and His plan for all of us. I am so grateful for that.

Well now that I am done with that sappy stuff, here is the good stuff. My pictures from the adventurous weekend in Utah. 

Take a look at that beautiful campus!! Can't wait to call it home. <3

The ever beautiful Logan Temple. Fun fact: My great great great (something) grandpa Marriner W. Merrill was the first temple president there! How neat is that? (That's pretty neat.) So it's nice to know that I have some old family ties to Logan. 

After Logan, I went and stayed in Provo with my best friend Katie Cotton. She and her darling boyfriend (who I'm totally rooting for go Cameron #TeamCameron) took me to the Color Fest at the Radha Krishna temple. It was insane. So much fun. I washed purple out of my hair for a week. Also, thanks to the guy who threw purple in my mouth because I still have two stains on my teeth from that. IT ACTUALLY STAINED MY TEETH. But it was totally worth it. 

I FRICKIN LOVE YOU, KATIE. 

Don't get me wrong, nothing will ever beat a good ole Texas sunset. But I sure do love those Utah sunsets over the mountains. 

So now you know the update on my future. I hope you're as excited as I am for the future!

Man Crush Monday

Today I woke up with a full heart. I am brimming gratitude for the amazing family I have. I find the best way to express my emotions is to write them down, and what better way to do it than to put them out for the whole world to see! I want everyone to know what an incredible family I have. I wish you could all see how generous, loving, accepting, understanding, and just dang amazing they are. 

^My dad meeting his first grandbaby for the first time. Look at the twinkle in his eye! He's so cute. 

However, since it's Monday, I decided to turn my thoughts to my father. I sometimes feel he is under-appreciated because he is gone so much. For those of you who don't know my family personally, my dad is a pilot and spends time abroad. Reading a recent email he sent me from China, I had a heart warming moment where I again realized how incredible of a man he is. The email he sent me enclosed two pictures. The first showed him standing next to a smaller Indian man. My father had told me that he went to eat at this mans restaurant in China. He said there was a section of the restaurant where the man sold Indian jewelry and goods. My father took a look at them to find something to bring to me. (He claims that I pester him to bring me home jewelry and goodies... But that doesn't sound like me.. Does it? Haha.) My dad picked out three bracelets he thought I would like, which ended up being the other picture. My dad went to pay for them, but the man gave them to him as a special gift. My dad had been to his restaurant a few times before, so he considered my dad a friend. I can't help but get teary eyed as I ponder back on this story. It would be one thing if this was a unique or surprising tale.. But it isn't! My dad makes friends everywhere he goes! He has the biggest heart. I have never met a friendlier person. I have never really appreciated that quality of his. In all honesty, it sometimes embarrassed or annoyed me. Anytime we are in public, he talks to the people around us. I try to tell him they don't want to talk to him, but he never needs my advice. I am almost always proven wrong when he makes another friend from a stranger. But boy is he talkative. I have to take a separate car to church because he stays so long afterwards to talk to people. That's when my annoyance comes in. But I've come to realize what an admirable quality that is. He is never biased or judgmental. He has become friends with people of all different ages, size, gender, race, etc. He is so kind and generous.

 I recall a story he once told me about having lunch with a homeless man. The story was very interesting to me for a few reasons. Instead of simply offering the man money, my dad offered to buy him lunch. He then sat across from the man and talked to him while they ate lunch together. My dad said the man had tears in his eyes when he thanked my dad for the lunch. Can you imagine how meaningful it must've been to the man, to sit across from someone and have a normal lunch? I don't know about you, but I personally do not go out of my way to talk to homeless people. I usually just hand them some coins and hurry on my way. But my dad didn't do that. He treats all human beings with equal respect and love. I can't think of what I have done to deserve such an amazing example. I must've done something incredible before I came to this life to deserve this man as my father. 

That is all. Happy Monday.

Sprang Breaakkk

Spring Break is a momentus occasion. The school year always flies by after spring break. It usually goes like this: Spring Break, my birthday (imma be 18!!!!), SUMMER! Which means I am graduating in two and a half months.....??????!?!?!?!?!?!

Anyways, here are some snaps from my spring break. I had a wonderful staycation by exploring my hometown.

My awesome cousins came into town and we partied the Texas way. 

We took them to Reunion Tower in Dallas. 

Ok real quick, did any of you watch the SNL 40th anniversary special?? Well there's a part where Adam Sandler comes in as Opera Man and sings about the reunion and I kept singing " REUNIOOOOOON, REUNION." over and over. Not even kidding I must've sung it a thousand times. Pretty sure my cousins wanted to kill me, but they were good sports. 

The view from the top of Reunion Tower. Dallas is pretty spectacular isn't she?

I <3 my parents. 

And I definitely Texas Texas. 

We spent the rest of the day in Bishop Arts District. If you live in DFW and haven't been there.. uhm HELLO what are you doing??? This is the sign outside of Emporium Pies aka the best pie in the whole dang world. 

Their blueberry pie is named Blue Steel after Zoolander's iconic face which was perfect timing because I found out that day that ZOOLANDER 2 IS IN THE MAKING!!!!!!! Probably the best news I've gotten in a while. I'll post the video of how they announced it below. 

I get the Smooth Operator which is a chocolate pie with pretzel crust. It is by far the best pie I have ever had and I want to cry just thinking about it. 

They give you these adorable little to-go baskets which just adds points in my book. 

Right next door is this awesome music wall which sets the perfect scene for a photo op!

There are so many cute murals and shops and it's just my favorite place ever. I got this adorable romper in a shop called the Laughing Willow and I'm just really excited about it okay?? 

The next day we went to Six Flags which is always a good time. In the morning I was actually cold... which was the weirdest thing ever. I had previously only been to Six Flags in the summer when you feel like you're going to die of a heat stroke so the chilly morning was a pleasant surprise. When the sun came out, it was perfect temperatures all afternoon. I didn't really take any pictures because I was too busy having fun!!! 

I only really took this picture: 

My cousins were making fun of me because apparently I always make this judging scowl face?? (yeah right like I would ever do that) So my cousin Rusty took my sunnies and decided to demonstrate it for me. 

My lovely Grandma Jayne is also in town which is always a treat. 

We finished the week off at Babe's in Roanoke and then sent them on their way back to AZ. I'm sure all of you have been to Babe's because it's a rite of passage and it's actually the best food in Texas this is not a drill. 

Overall, it was a very successful Spring Break. 

P.S. Who's with me that we should get rid of Daylight Savings?? The Spring Forward always kills me and I'm just sick of it. We aren't farmers anymore, can't we just move on???

The part I was talking about starts around 9:30 but if you have the time go ahead and watch the whole thing because it's pure gold. 

They announced Zoolander 2 by having these two goofballs walk in the real Valentino show at Paris Fashion Week!! How insane is that?! I couldn't be more stoked for this movie. They better not let me down. 

I hope you all have a wonderful spring and don't forget my birthday or I will punch you in the face. 

Opening Up

Hello to the five people who read my blog! :)

Today I am going to do a very difficult thing. I am going to break down my personal walls and open up. I am going to show you the feelings that I keep hidden from the world. I have thought about it a lot, and come to the conclusion that someone, somewhere can benefit from my experiences. 

So if you choose to read on, do me a favor: You know how in some cultures, they make you take your shoes off and leave them outside the house before you enter? I am asking you to do that. I am asking you to leave your judgements and previous ideas or perceptions at the door. Please open your hearts and minds to the subject I am bringing up. I will be writing about it frequently, because I have many things to say on it. If you have negative comments, please keep them to yourself. 

I'm going to talk to you about the D word. 

Not death, or dope, or anything like that.

My D word is Depression. A word that can turn easy-going conversations into awkward moments. A word that seems to stop people in their tracks when spoken. A word that can make someone seem suddenly unreachable, unapproachable, and unknown.
Depression is something I have struggled with for years. This may come as a shock to some of you who know me, seeing as I have been very good at hiding it. Others may have clued in on it but have not spoken up. I hid it from my parents and family for years because I was ashamed of my feelings and afraid of the results and backlash. My parents have only known about it since around May of 2014 (I want to make it clear right now that it was never my parents treatment that made me afraid to speak out. They have been loving and supportive 100% of the time). I felt it was something I had to hide. That is exactly what made me want to speak out about it. I am tired of the stigma that comes with mental health issues. I am tired of feeling like I have to hide something that has been such a big part of my life. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said that "there should be no more shame in acknowledging [mental health issues] than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor." When I first heard that, I realized that something had to change. So here I am, taking the first step to change my personal world, and hopefully the world around me.

People made me feel guilty for being depressed. Like I said earlier, it was never my family! But friends and others around me. They told me how blessed and fortunate I was to have a loving family, sound finances, good friends, talents, etc. Nobody could see any logical reason why I was depressed. And quite frankly, I couldn't either. So I guilted myself into a state of self-loathing. I viewed myself as a spoiled brat who was ungrateful and undeserving of anything. But that was obviously not true! I have always been so grateful for my many blessings! But depression is not about gratitude. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain! You can cure some depression with counseling and therapy, but many cases require medication. It is a physical ailment as much as it is a mental one. I think many people do not understand that. 

I read a quote on Facebook today that was extremely relatable: 
“Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.” 
― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

For too long, I have withstood people's ludicrous suggestions to simply "focus on the positive" or "think about something else" or to "get over it". While those are wonderful suggestions to some teeny bopper girl going through her first breakup, they are completely unhelpful to someone suffering from depression. I cannot express to you what it is like to see that you have every reason to be happy, and yet feel a resounding sadness to your very core. I can't explain to you the feeling of gratitude for all your blessings, along with a feeling of deep unworthiness and self loathing. I can't tell you how terrifying it is to feel so miserable for unseen reasons. To feel like you have no hope, no drive or motivation to live another day. I can't tell you how terrifying it is to realize that the person who doesn't want you to live is the same person you see in the mirror. To realize that the enemy is yourself. I am not asking you to understand depression, because you never fully will if you have not experienced it. I am not asking you to understand it, I am simply asking you all to accept it as a real thing. 

I am not writing this for attention, or to cause people to worry about me. I am in a very good place with my depression right now, so I feel comfortable sharing these things. I am simply writing this to spread awareness and truth about the realness of depression. I want to change how the world views depression. I will write much, much more about the topic soon. But for now, I would love to hear your feedback! 
Thanks for reading. Peace and bahlessings. 

Selflessness

^Here's a pic of me being selfless my holding a baby. Boom.

I'm a thinker. And I don't mean that as a compliment to myself. I mean that my brain is like a non-stop hamster wheel, constantly in fast motion. My brain is especially active late at night, when I'm trying to go to bed. (It's also especially inactive when I get up for seminary but thats irrelevant..) If you've noticed the bags I have under my eyes this week, I'm going to give you an explanation. 

I've come to the realization that I am a very selfish person.

I am not throwing a pity party, but rather pointing out room for improvement. Selfishness has always been a hard line for me to toe. It is hard to find the perfect balance between proper self care and self absorption. 

I try to help my fellow humans when I see they are in need, but in general my thoughts revolve around me, myself and I. I lie awake in bed counting the things that are wrong with me. Or the things that I don't like about my life.  I fantasize about my future life, my future love, and my future successes. I spend so much time worrying about it. Most nights, I go to bed unhappy and unsettled from thinking about myself. And when I say unhappy, I mean like in tears, curled up in a ball unhappy. 

But I have been trying something different. This new year, I decided to devote more of my time to study the gospel (a resolution I make nearly every year). My family reads the D&C chapters together for seminary. I also made it my personal goal to read the Book of Mormon every night, as well as one conference talk a night. Each night is a hit or miss. I have to deal with the fatigue of school schedule, musical rehearsals, and complications of an autoimmune disease. Sometimes I am just too tired to read. But I'm never too tired to think about myself before I go to sleep.

So when I'm lying awake thinking about myself, I turn my lamp back on and get my scriptures out. The scriptures help to take my mind off myself. And you know what? I go to bed happy. I go to bed peaceful. I might still think about myself, but they are hopeful thoughts of the temple, a mission, service, etc. And then when I wake up, I find it easier to talk to people I wouldn't normally talk to, or notice more people who are in need of service. I am more involved in helping others and doing good things with my time, and it makes me a lot happier. Isn't it weird how selflessness makes you feel better about yourself? This nightly routine of study also makes me happier throughout the day. I was noticing increased happiness this last week especially. There was one day where things just weren't going right. I received a string of comments from some friends that weren't the nicest. Normally, I would've taken those comments poorly, and isolated myself for the rest of the day. But that day, I brushed them off and kept smiling and participating in the conversation. I didn't let a little thing ruin my whole day. The connection between my happiness and my nightly studies is undeniable. When I spend less time thinking about myself, I am happier.
But I still slip up. And I am still an incredibly selfish person. But at least I'm working on it!
I challenge all of you to spend a little less time thinking about yourself, and a little more time helping others. Set aside time to read the scriptures and conference talks. It really will give you insight on living a happier life. Please accept this hypocritical challenge from a completely selfish person. Peace and Bahlessings.

Is the term "Conservative Feminist" an oxymoron?

If you were to ask me my political views, I would unashamedly declare myself a conservative. If you were to ask me if I was a feminist, I would also unashamedly answer yes. Many people do not understand how these two terms can go together. And quite frankly, I can't blame them. It is unfortunate that the modern feminist movement has been hijacked by liberals who support abortion and government-supplemented birth control. It is unfortunate that many of my friends believe feminists are promoting female superiority, rather than gender equality. 
Merriam-Webster defined feminism as "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities". Now tell me, does any of that sound bad to you? Unless you're somehow from the 1800's, my guess is that you answered no. So why does the term feminism now come with such a stigma? Why can't I call myself a feminist without getting bad looks? 
The unfortunate truth is that the faces of modern feminism are representing all the wrong things. We have people such as Lena Dunham and Hilary Clinton who are leading today's feminists. I absolutely hate that. When I call myself a feminist, I hate to think that someone associates me with these women. 
I know several people who think that Lena Dunham is an inspiring woman that we should all idolize. WHY?? Her claim to feminism fame is that she was apparently raped after a party. Yes, rape is awful.  But Lena Dunham claims to have been raped whilst she was very drunk and high on substances such as cocaine and adderall. There is a big push in feminism that because a girl isn't able to say no, it still means no. This essentially means that if a girl is drunk or high or passed out or something like that, she should not be sexually abused. This sounds all fine and dandy, but I feel like it is taking all responsibility off of women. If you don't want to be raped, don't drink! Don't do drugs! Yes it's still a horrible thing that guys do that.. but what if the guys were drunk or high as well? If the woman doesn't have to take responsibility for her actions whilst under the influence, why does a man? But the even bigger issue is that Lena Dunham's story has recently been debunked. I think her fake rape story is an insult to real rape victims. 
Don't even get me started on Hillary Clinton. She one of the biggest supporters of Planned Parenthood. I consider this organization to be degrading and insulting to women. I simply don't understand how people can consider abortion as a form of birth control. In my opinion, birth control should be preventative. But that is for a different day.
Because these women are the faces of modern feminism, I have many conservative friends who think feminism is bad, or unnecessary. A frequent thing I hear women say is that "feminism was necessary in the 20's so that women could gain the right to vote, but it's just not necessary anymore" or "I've never experienced any oppression or sexism in my  lifetime." So... because you've never experienced something personally, this means it doesn't exist? In the U.S. alone, there are still women fighting to get equal pay. There are women being sexually harassed in the work place and women being raped. There are women experiencing domestic violence and household abuse who stand powerless. Outside the U.S., there are countries like Saudi Arabia where women are legally segregated from men in public. Our country wasn't okay with racial segregation in the 60's, so why are we okay with gender segregation elsewhere? There are countries like Egypt where fathers and brothers of certain Muslim groups can perform 'honor killings' on women and not even be arrested or tried. And you're going to try and tell me the world doesn't need feminism? 
Unacceptable. 
Here is my proposal- We get back to the true meaning of feminism. We don't tolerate unequal treatment of women, but we also don't bash on men whilst doing so. 
We need to recognize and support true and worthy feminists such as Raheel Raza, Fahima Hashim, and the many other wonderful people who are working so hard to create an equal world. 
We also need to support all kinds of women. I feel as if modern feminists only support the ideal 'modern woman' who doesn't need a man to be happy. You know the sort, the woman who doesn't want to get married or have kids because she is independent. Sure, we can support those women, but can't we also support the stay at home mom who lets her husband work for the family? The woman who actually cooks and cleans a house not because she has to, but because she wants to? I propose that we stop bashing so many people in the name of Feminism. 
Help me promote equality around the world. Help me call myself a feminist without shame or guilt. Help me to help the women who are suffering around the world. Don't be afraid to call yourself a feminist. 

Please let me know your opinions on this topic!

If you are interested in the subject, I recommend watching the movie The Honor Diaries. It shows the oppression of women in certain Muslim countries. 

New year, new me??

Ha. I hate that saying. If you want to change, just do it. Don't put it off til the new year. 

But that's beside the point.

Looking back, 2014 was an insane year. It was a year that made me feel more alive than I ever had before. You know that old "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" quote?? That was my 2014. The highs were so dang high, but the lows were equally low. I learned so much about myself and the world around me. I thought it might be nice to share some of the lessons I learned in the past year.

-There is no reason to be alone. There are people around you that love you and care about you. You have someone who will listen. Don't isolate yourself because of problems or pain. 

-Love will come in unexpected ways, times, and places. I don't necessarily mean romantic love (but that too). I am sometimes a pessimist about things like this. I tend to believe all I have at the time is all I'm ever gonna get. But life chose to teach me a lesson in humility this year and prove me otherwise.

-New friends also show up unexpectedly. Here's a little story: You may have heard of Jordan, one of my best friends ever. But did you know we have only been friends for a few months?? She moved to my town last year. (I think it might have been last year but actually I have no clue...) She was in a different ward than me but I saw her at school and seminary. She was sort of friends with my other best friend Rebecca at the end of last school year. Rebecca always told me that Jordan and I would really hit it off but it just never happened. Then June rolled around and I went on the esteemed UK trip. And who also went? None other than the famous Jordan Waters. There is something about being in a foreign country without your family that makes you bond with people. Jordan and I discovered that we were both in fact insane and hilarious (well we think so). We have been best friends ever since and I can confidently say that we will be friends for our entire lives. 

-It can be hard to save money, but it is so worth it!! I'm what you could call an impulse buyer. I love shopping, and I'm totally that girl that grabs everything next to the register after already placing my large pile to be scanned. This past year, I chose to try and calm this habit and save. It was so worth it!!

-Change is so hard. But you can get through it. And it can make things better than before. 'Nuff said. 

-Friendships or relationships can end, even when you thought they never would. It can be so confusing and difficult to deal with. You have the choice to pity yourself, or you have the choice to grow and improve yourself. I recommend the second option. 

-Stop comparing yourself to others!!! And stop throwing pity parties for yourself because you think other people have it better!! You're just wasting your time ignoring all the wonderful things you do have!!! Took me long enough to figure that out. 

-Don't criticize unless you plan to do something about it. Otherwise you are just complaining. 

-Travel really is good for the mind and soul. (I know this from all the one foreign places I traveled to...) Going to the UK brought me more happiness than I can even express. I learned so much about my ancestral history and I saw so many beautiful things. It also made me extremely grateful that I live in America. But that's for a different time...

-Be nice. Love people. Even when they don't seem to deserve it. You may have picked up on my sharp tongue and sarcastic manner? Let me just tell you, this gets me into trouble. It's hard for me to hold my tongue. But what's the point?? Sure, you get to gloat at your cleverness and gain temporary personal satisfaction. But did it benefit your life? And more importantly, did it benefit the other person's life? No... just be nice. 

-Exercise actually does make you feel better! I know.. it's shocking to believe that the doctors are right. Now, I'm not recommending that you go run a marathon. Let's be honest, only insane people and vegans do that. But being active boosts your energy and happiness! I like to do yoga at least 3 times a week. I notice that when I don't do yoga, I am tired and grumpy the next day. In the words of Elle Woods, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't!" 

-Sometimes the only answer is a good cry. Several times in 2014, I walked down to my mother with tears streaming down my face, unable to express my pain or frustration. She always just told me to cry it out. Cry it out and then soak in a nice, hot bath. This has been scientifically proven (by me) to solve problems.

-Time really does move fast. Live your life accordingly. I know this probably seems silly coming from a 17 year old, but I'm entering the last semester of my senior year in high school. Soon, I'll be starting a whole new chapter in my life. I will be separated from some of my best friends. Try to enjoy the things happening now. Don't sit around waiting for something. I'm guilty of saying, "oh, it'll be so good when I go to college". But sometimes I forget about how good I've got it now! One of my favorite movie characters, Ferris Bueller, summed it up perfectly. " Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

I hope you all had a wonderful 2014, and I wish you an even better 2015! (Even though I'm still convinced that it's only 2010 and the government is lying to us..)